


Run!

by RussianSunflower3



Series: Answered ask meme answers [11]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Arachnophobia, M/M, which means spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9570656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianSunflower3/pseuds/RussianSunflower3
Summary: Oikawa just learnt a new life saving tip. A very handy one. Witnessed and undoubtedly caused by Kuroo.If only he'd knownbeforehe made a fatal error.☆*＊✿❀Life saving tip #428:Don'twhack a pregnant spider with a saucepan.❀✿＊*☆





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fxvixen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxvixen/gifts).



> "Can I ask a dumb question?"   
>  "Better than anyone I know."

Lazy days. That was all Kuroo had been up to for the past week. Summer was too hot, the holidays were boring, and all his friends were on holiday. 

The only person he had to talk to was Oikawa, but he seemed predetermined to play volleyball until he collapsed in the summer haze. Perhaps Coach should have foreseen this and banned them from using the gym. 

And yet, Oikawa had been granted a key.

“I’m back!” Speak of the devil. Oikawa waltzes into the common room - part of their dorm, shared with 6 other students - and Kuroo wrinkles his nose. 

“You _stink_! Just how long have you been playing?!” Oikawa chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his head. Now that Kuroo looks at him, he can see Oikawa _DRIPS_ with sweat, and his cheeks are flushed red. He even appears a little out of breath.

“O-Only six hours!”

“Six hours?! Are you kidding?! You’re going to kill yourself!” 

“Well now you sound like Iwa-chan!” Kuroo scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“And _you_ sound like an idiot that overworks until he collapses or does permanent injury.” Oikawa squawks in protest, but says nothing more as he storms into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Hopefully, to get a shower.

“... Hey, Tetsu-chan?”

“Yeah?”

“Pass me my towel.” An ugly laugh escapes Kuroo as he goes to collect Oikawa’s fluffy purple towel and pass it to him through the door. Once the door closes again, the lock sliding across, Kuroo sighs and goes to watch television.

There’s not much on, and he finds himself channel surfing until Oikawa comes back in the room in fresh, clean clothing. Nothing fancy, just white shorts and a blue shirt.

“Tetsu-chan, is there any food today?”

“I dunno. Might be some ramen packets somewhere.” Oikawa makes a soft noise of disgust.

“Why don’t we ever have anything _nice?_ ”

“Mainly because we’re broke college students. But also because noodles are fucking delicious.”

“Not all of us are as uncouth as you.” Kuroo stares at Oikawa in offense. How _dare_ he insinuate that noodles are _**uncouth**_.

“You- You’re dead to me.”

“You love me!”

“Not anymore.” Oikawa pouts overdramatically, perhaps the ugliest expression Kuroo has ever seen, and he softly chuckles.

“I’ll forgive you if you cook~.” Oikawa tucks his slightly damp hair behind his ear, sighing as if he’s been tasked with saving the world.

“Fine. But it won’t be anything extraordinary.”

“Doesn’t need to be, as long as it’s made by you.” A light blush dusts Oikawa’s cheeks, although Kuroo thinks it might just be the shitty lighting.

“W-Well, then. I’ll see what I can do.” As Oikawa disappears into the kitchen, Kuroo reclines on the sofa. And freezes. Right on the ceiling above him, there is a _huge **bulging** spider_.

Later, Kuroo will defend his scream as manly, no matter how much Oikawa will tease him for it.

Right now, however, he’s preoccupied with scrambling as far away from the spider as possible. Which would be much easier if it hadn’t just fallen from the ceiling to the sofa, and started scuttling across the floor.

“Tetsu-chan?” Oikawa pokes back through from the kitchen, saucepan in hand, and doesn’t quite understand Kuroo’s panicked screech and babble until he too, spots the spider.

“OhmyGOD, it’s _gigantic!_!” 

“Hit- Hit it! Hit it with the saucepan!”

“What makes you think I’m going _any_ closer than this?!” The spider seems to have other ideas. As it looks around for a spot to hide or a way to return to it’s web, it incidentally starts speedily scuttling towards Oikawa. 

With a screech, Oikawa tries to stumble over to Kuroo but trips over his own feet and there’s no other option. Sobbing, mainly out of fear, he slams the saucepan down on the poor spider. 

A moment of silence.

“D-Did it work…?” Kuroo steps down from the stool he was balanced on, nervously tip-toeing closer.

“Probably…?” Oikawa’s hand shakes as he lifts the pan, and they both breathe out a sigh of relief. The spider is now flat. Maybe…

A little too flat? Wait… Is it- It’s _spreading?!_

It takes Kuroo 0.2 seconds to realise the little black bits spreading out are not spider innards at all, but _baby_ spiders. Hundreds of them. Oikawa only takes an extra 0.4 seconds to comprehend this and then he’s _gone_. Out of the room like a bullet.

Kuroo gulps and backs away step by step, hands shaking, knees trembling. Once he’s far enough away to feel something other than the icy grip of terror, he bolts after Oikawa. They end up trapped in the kitchen, sitting on the counter, as tiny black dots start creeping through from under the door.

“Hey, Tetsu-chan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask a dumb question?”

“Better than anyone I know.” Oikawa smacks him slightly, his other hand gripping on tight to Kuroo’s arm to make sure he doesn’t fall off the counter. After all, this is their apocalypse, and they only have each other.

“I didn’t mean it like that! 

“I know, I’m just using bad humour to try and cope with this situation!”

“You’re always using bad humour!”

“Because I’m always _struggling_ to cope!” The little black dots - tiny demons - have spread across the kitchen floor and Oikawa chokes back a sob because there is no escape. Once the spider babies starts crawling up the cupboards and towards the counter, it’s Time To Die™.

“So back to my dumb question - Do you think we’d be less scared of spiders if we lived in Australia?”

“If we lived in Australia, we’d be dead.”

“Huh. I guess if you’re suicidal, all you’d have to do is open the door and leave the lights on. The wildlife would do the rest.”

“You could always pluck a feather from a cassowary.” 

“I said if you wanted to _die_ , not get torn to shreds and left barely breathing to regret the decision.” Kuroo croaks out a laugh. In perhaps their final moments, at least he gets a giggle.

“... What are you two do- Why are there spiders all over the floor?!” Kuroo and Oikawa almost burst into tears of relief as their saviour, Yamagata walks in. The libero makes quick work of sweeping up the spiders, putting them in a jar and releasing them far outside before going round with the vacuum as a security sweep.

It still takes a few minutes for him to talk Oikawa and Kuroo off the countertops, but in the end, they make a brave dash from the kitchen to their Kuroo’s room - since it’s furthest from the spider spawn spot.

They spend the rest of the evening huddled together on Kuroo’s bed, eventually drifting off in each other’s arms.


End file.
